Tuesday, July 27, 2010

roads and valleys

The music I left behind
is the sound of sirens
and humming motors
The music I left behind
is the sound of teeth clattering
on stone
The music I left behind
(in this past life)
was civilized and broken
into palatable pieces
so that small children could find the
shards and place them under rocks
trees grew from these seedlings
trees made from steel and concrete
I would touch the boughs
but my hands would bleed
from cuts the sharpness
of societies branches
The nature of nature
is to be bestial
yet we confine the beast within ourselves
to paper avenues with endless text
the words we say convey anguish
quietly
while the sirens howl our guts out for us
the tell us the animal is within
yet we live in a cage of streets and shadows
and the occasional allowance of trees
I listen with my ear to the ground
trying to hear the sound that the earth makes
when she is shrugging off her pain.
We don't know her anymore.
We don't love each other communally,
so many communities so many churches
and so many bland and blander false rites of passage
that lead boys to greater boyhood and trap girls
in eternal vacuous self denial.
I hate this cage yet it is all I have
without the roads so paved I would stumble through the woods
and die on my knees to mother nature.
what does it mean to live past ones moment?
to take more than one is given?
If civilization is despair
than why do we sing songs of love and devotion to each other?
There is a bond I share with these branches
the rivers that run through the world made of metal and stone and
concrete, they are extensions of my body like this computer network I have come to rely on so heavily
I feel like a cyborg already plug me in and let my mind wander the manyfold paths that I
find in front of me
a cage of white a cage of dark
the love each other
extremes
of destruction
avenues
find a home inside my head
little pathways and drugs to change
how my chemicals interact
with each other
on their roads
we impose order
because our bodies have structure
I live inside a home that was built
to keep out the sun
yet the sun will outlive my attempts
to control her.
Perhaps some day we will
outlive our desire to control
each other and the creature
within will have peace of some sort.